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I despaired of finding the relationship I wanted with a guy, and because of my ability to fall in love with women, I didn't try too hard.Men had their charms (lustful assertiveness, an air of mystery, fun body parts), but my better self--the more confident, funny, fully Jenny Jennifer--came out with only one gender. Traveling so much had gone from being glamorous to onerous, and neither of us was willing to give up her home to live in the other's city.I am currently married and completely in love with a man. Since I first learned about porn, I have watched girl-on-girl porn. I have pretty regular sex dreams involving other women and myself.And, although I think this one is pretty common, I am more than willing to admit when I have a “girl crush” on another woman.Her friends were attractive, progressive lesbians and inspiring musicians; mine were New York writers and feminists. I never wanted to marry Amy, but the fact that I couldn't legally do so made weddings attended with her poignant, vaguely itchy affairs.A friend once asked me if Amy and I were going to get hitched, and I felt a surge of gratitude that almost made me cry--not because I had my dress all picked out but because someone at least saw a wedding as an option.She had a Georgia accent, a kind soul, and selfless politics.We met in Montana when I flew out to cover a concert series in the late '90s.

I was dismissive of "typical couples" with their public bickering.

Another actor frequently assumed to be gay, Alan Cumming has had relationships with men and women.

While he considers himself to be bisexual, he did say, "the pendulum has obviously swung." He's been married to his husband since 2007. I have always considered myself bisexual." She has spoken about the many relationships she had with women in the past.

I was keenly attuned to the compromises associated with being a wife.

"Why I Want a Wife," an essay in magazine (always on my mother's coffee table), had a profound effect on my youthful thinking.

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